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Beginner’s Guide to Fetish Gear

There’s quite a bit of confusion even in seasoned sex toys circles about what certain terms refer to regarding bondage sex toys and fetish gear.

Collar

A collar is very symbolic in BDSM. A collar is fastened around the neck and is usually made of leather or a similar material, then buckled to a secure fit. It may have additional D or O rings to which a leash or other accessory can be attached.

The one wearing a collar is usually the submissive, or bottom, in a roleplay scene, but not always. Many Dominants, particularly female Dominants, choose to wear a collar as a fashion statement. And why not? Some collars found in bondage sex toys categories of sex shops & at fetish markets are really quite pretty, you know.

Leash

A leash is a handy addition when it comes to collars. With a loop for a handle and a trigger clip at the other end, it can easily be attached to the D or O ring of a submissive’s collar and then used to direct them as and where you wish. Leashes can be used to restrain your submissive to furniture too, or simply held in your grasp as a physical and symbolic act of Dominance.

Blindfold or Eye mask

Blindfolds that you find in bondage sex toys areas usually have an elasticated area that fits around the head, and the best ones will have a shaped eye area, sometimes with a soft inner lining, that fits over the eyes. Blindfolds block out light and remove the submissive’s ability to see proceedings, so that other senses are heightened and the anticipation of what to come adds to the excitement.

Ball Gag

A ball gag is a gag for the mouth which consists of a (usually) buckle fasten strap that sits securely around the head, and a ball to the front centre. This ball is placed between your submissive’s teeth, pushed back comfortably into the mouth, while the strap is fastened as securely as possible.

Ball gags may be breathable (usually durable plastic with holes through to make breathing easier, ideal for beginners) or non-breathable (usually rubber balls, solid, without holes).

Whips

Whips cover a great many different punishment implements. Instead of using the hand for a spanking a whip may be selected. A whip is traditionally a corporal punishment item which has a single tail, like a bullwhip. More recently, in the bondage sex toys sphere, this term has come to be a catch-all term for whips and floggers.

Flogger

A flogger is a punishment item with a sturdy handle and more than one tail to deliver punishment to your submissive’s body. A versatile fetish item, a flogger can be used sensually with light, teasing strokes, or wielded more harshly to give stinging lashes to your partner’s bottom or other fleshy areas.

Flogger tails can be short and a flogger can have as little as 12 tails, while on others the tails or fronds are very long, may have additional knots or other items at the end of each tail, and they can often be in the region of 30-40 tails.

Paddle

Unlike a flogger, a paddle is quite unapologetically meant for punishment and spanking. A paddle will usually be one piece, rather than quite definitively a handle and a punishment area. Paddles can be in a variety of shapes, from a ping pong bat shape to the longer, rectangular cricket bat shape.

Cock Cages & Chastity Devices

Orgasm control, chastity and tease and denial are all very popular in BDSM, for both men and women. Chastity devices are leather, metal or plastic shaped objects which fit around the genitalia for the purposes of removing the wearer’s ability to touch themselves there, for pleasure.

Bondage Restraints and Cuffs

Bondage means having your movement restrained, for the physical and psychological pleasure of both the one being restrained and the one doing the restraining.

Handcuffs in the traditional metal sense are typically used by beginners to bondage who often choose to upgrade these to a more comfortable and safer option after the first few sessions. Wrist and ankle cuffs, made from materials such as leather, suede and even silicone, fit around the wrists and/or ankles and are fastened securely. Often the cuffs will have an interconnecting chain which may or may not be entirely detachable.

Bondage Rope

Bondage rope is an alternative restraint to handcuffs, ankle cuffs & other bondage sex toys. When forming artistic knots and harnesses on the submissive’s body with bondage rope, this is known as Shibari bondage. Shibari is a Japanese form of bondage, which is very artistic and usually requires some research and practice before you begin.

Bondage rope comes in a variety of lengths and materials, some better for harnesses around a person sitting, standing or laying down, while others are stronger and can be used in combination with a suspension piece of furniture and items like anal hooks.

Rope should never be placed around a person’s neck in a slipknot fashion and it’s best practice to keep medical scissors nearby in case the person requires immediate release at any time.